The Barmaid Blog™: Life for a 20-something Manhattan Barmaid

It's a couple of Thursdays ago, and while most of the people in the Bar are watching the Yankees walk all over the Kansas City Royals, I've got one television tuned to college hockey. It's not even really for me, though I'm watching when I have the chance; it's for Will. It's the first time he's been back here since Samantha died, and we're all naturally worried about him. But for the moment, he's sitting at the bar talking to Mario, and Maya - Samantha's friend, and the reason she started coming here and met Will in the first place - is mostly just standing there and listening to him. Simone and I are taking up the slack willingly.

Notre Dame is playing Michigan in the national men's hockey semifinals, and they've jumped out to a 3-0 lead. Will has said in the past that he doesn't really care that much about Michigan's hockey team, even though he played on their football team, but it's the reason he's supposedly here, and he keeps shaking his head as things look bleaker and bleaker. During the second intermission, after Michigan has finally made a game of it by scoring two in a row, Will asks me a question I'd sort of been hoping wouldn't come up. But I suppose if it was to come up at all, it's best coming from him, because the main reason I wasn't going to talk about it was not to rub it in his face. "How's things with you and Jenny?"

"They're good, thanks. We've been spending a lot of nights together." Maya slips off to serve some customers so that I can stick around and talk for a while.

"Is it love?" he asks, the second reason I was going to avoid the subject.

"I have no idea, Will." And that's the honest truth. "But whatever it is, it feels very good."

"Okay, I'm - listen, I'm only going to say this once, but I'm sorry, there's just no way I can let it go without saying it at all, it's just who I am... can I, uh... please come over and watch it feeling good sometime?" Will finishes by smiling the most innocent smile. If it were anybody else but him, I might actually be a little angry, but with Will I have to laugh - and I have to be relieved that he's in a good mood.

"I'll make you a deal - as soon as New Hampshire wins the Frozen Four, you can videotape Jenny and me having sex."

Mario laughs, but Will just sticks his hand out for a shake. "You've got a deal, Debra. And you've made a brand-new New Hampshire fan." I wonder, for a moment, what I've gotten myself into... and then I wonder for a few more moments whether Jenny and I will still be together when next year's Frozen Four arrives, much less whenever my alma mater finally wins one. We've never really talked long-term.

Will sips from his Anchor Steam. "So how did you and Jenny meet, anyway?"

"Oh, it was a blind date. It's all her fault," I say, pointing to Simone, who's a few yards away trying to convince a customer that she doesn't really want to order a tall glass of Goldschläger on the rocks. "We road-tripped up to New Hampshire for a few days in mid-December. I met her family, we hung out at their brewpub in Portsmouth, then she came with me to see UNH play hockey against Maine... we got totally socked in by a snowstorm that weekend, and ended up raiding her Dad's wine cellar. She was bitching about the pressure she was feeling to get a boob job, I was bitching about the online dating thing, and suddenly she said, 'Hey, you and this lawyer I know would totally hit it off.' So she gave Jenny my e-mail and here we are."

"Wait," says Mario, "how did Simone know Jenny in the first place?"

"Oh, I think Simone used to be a Starbucks barista across from the courthouse in Brooklyn Heights, and Jenny used to come in a lot, or something."

"Nice," nods Will. "You really never know how you're going to..." He can't seem to finish the sentence, and looks away as he drinks more of his beer. Mario puts his arm around Will's shoulders. I really don't know what to do except reach for his hand on the bar, and give it a squeeze before I go back to serving drinks. When Michigan finally loses to Notre Dame in overtime, 5-4, Will has long since left for home.

Well, I still have my job, which is quite a relief.

Monday I arrive at the Bar about twenty minutes early for my 8-to-close shift, figuring Todd will probably want to talk to me about Saturday night, and of course he does. He gives me a firm talking to in the back room about my responsibility to the Bar, to the customers, to my fellow staff members, and to myself, and I deserve every word of it. I apologize for letting him down. Then he says something that surprises me.

"Debra, I've always thought you would be a great bar manager. I know you enjoy what you're doing, and you'd have to give up some of your tip income, but you're smart and responsible, and the people who work with you look up to you. Well, you're usually responsible." He smiles. "I don't have the power to make you a manager myself, but there's no question that if the day manager position ever opened up, Lanie and Victor [the owners] would ask me if there was anybody already working here who I thought was ready for it. I want you to think about that."

"Wow," is all I can really think to say. "Todd, that means a lot to me. And I'll try not to let you down again."

So I'm on with Amy, who tells me she heard a few things about what happened Saturday, but wants to hear the whole story. I tell her, and the more I think about it, the more I realize that I was probably unfair to Randi, the woman who came in with Peter. I mean, she's obviously dating him, but as Cynthia Heimel once said, "Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people." Plus, Randi was obviously upset by some of his behavior, too, so she can't be all bad. And, quite honestly, I thought the chain she was wearing in her navel was awesome, and now I'm thinking about getting mine pierced. I wonder, would my tips from straightlaced Manhattan business suit types when I'm wearing a midriff shirt get better or worse because of a pierced navel?

Also on Monday I finally learn that my New Hampshire Wildcats men's hockey team not only tied Boston University this weekend, but also beat #1 ranked and previously undefeated Maine, our greatest rivals. Wait, "beat" is the wrong word for an 8-2 final - we killed them. Ah, how satisfying... maybe this will finally be the year we get that national championship we've been denied for so long.

This morning I finally get around to a short film I've been meaning to watch. Barmaid Blog reader Jonathan e-mailed me a while ago to tell me he'd entered a short film in the "Contagious Festival" on the Huffington Post. I thought it was very funny! It's a parody on the gay marriage controversy that's been brewing here in the United States, called "Some of My Best Friends Are American" - about a supposed initiative in New Zealand to make it illegal for Americans to marry other Americans. I think the more people watch the movie, the better chance they have of doing well in the festival, though I'm not sure how that works... but in any event, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and recommend it without reservation. If you enjoy it, you should pass it on, too. Best of luck, Jonathan!

Oh, and it should have occurred to me that readers would think my ridiculously hot IM conversation late Saturday night was with Jessica. I guess I could have been clearer about that. Jessica and I have always talked very frankly about sex, including the times we've talked since we cleared the air a few weeks ago. But we've never "cybered," as the kids call it these days. My "cyber" partner was a girl I've never met, with whom I've been IMing with for a while, a college student named Nancy. We just happened both to be drunk enough in the wee hours on Saturday night to take it somewhere I guess neither of us was quite expecting.

Over lunch earlier today, I tell Warren about what "happened" online with Nancy, just so he doesn't hear it from someone else. We've never talked about being exclusive, and I don't think I've "cheated" on him, but it's important to me to be open with him. He nods and eats quietly while I tell him, then clears his throat.

"Well, I have to admit, this is a new one for me," he says. "Maybe I'm showing my age, but that kind of interaction has never appealed to me as an alternative to the real thing."

I smile. "Even when the real thing isn't available?"

He nods some more. "She knows about me?"

"Yup."

"Okay, now I know about her. Where does that leave us?"

"Still on for tomorrow night, I hope."

"You'd better believe it," he says. "Under one condition."

"What's that?"

"You don't bring your laptop."

I act shocked. "What? No laptop? How are we supposed to have a threesome with her?" He laughs and shakes his head.

This is my very first time posting to the Barmaid Blog from outdoors... it's such a gorgeous day that I've spent a good chunk of the afternoon just lazing around Bryant Park drinking coffee, people-watching, and soaking up the wireless. I love free park wi-fi!!

Monday night I'm working the 6-to-close, with Amy on until 8 and Jessica scheduled to take her place. We haven't seen Jessica in a while - she's been gone for the better part of two weeks, on vacation in Maine with her boyfriend Evan. Business is decent for a Monday, but not terribly busy - the Yankees and Mets are both off tonight, and Mondays are just slower in general. So Tommy is helping break in a new barback, Vince, and everybody seems to like him right away. He's skinny but incredibly strong, and he seems to have something funny to say to everybody.

During a slow moment, Vince explains that he roadied for a while for a couple of punk bands, so he's used to hauling heavy objects around. He mentions several band names as if they should mean something, and some people murmur their recognition and respect - but punk has never been my scene, so none of them really ring a bell for me. My roommate Jill is a semi-serious punk fan, though (she cried for hours when Johnny Ramone died a couple of years ago), so I make a note to myself to tell her later.

Jessica bursts into the Bar at about 7:30, and practically runs through the business suit crowd to get behind the bar. She's absolutely beaming as she grabs me by the shoulders and says, "We're getting married!!"

My reaction is to say, "Oh, my God!" and hug her very tightly.

Vince's reaction is to say, "You two are getting married? I thought the courts of New York just said that was a no-no." Tommy swats him on the back of the head with a (mercifully dry) bar rag.

Amy breaks away from her customers to come join in the celebration, and Jessica shows us her ring for the first time. It's beautiful - a round diamond of very tasteful size, in an absolutely gorgeous setting amidst smaller garnets, Jessica's birthstone. I'm ashamed to admit that beyond the oohs and ahhs, there's also a fair amount of squealing. Amy and I know Evan pretty well, and we're pretty sure Jessica's got one of the good ones.

Todd comes out from the back room to see what's going on, and upon hearing the news, says, "Wait here." Less than a minute later, he returns with a couple of bottles of chilled Veuve Cliquot Ponsardin, and has me set up some glasses. Now that's a boss!! All six staff members present and a few regulars toast to Jessica's and Evan's eternal happiness.

Over the next little while as Amy and I continue to serve drinks, we get bits and pieces from Jessica of the vacation story and the proposal story. Evan proposed during dinner on the outdoor deck of a restaurant on one of the small islands overlooking a bay halfway up Maine's coast, apparently just as the sunset was painting the sky all sorts of pinks and purples. Needless to say, there's a lot more oohing and ahhing. Eventually, Amy cashes out and Jessica takes over, and with the bubbly gone, Todd wanders off to the back room again, and Tommy continues showing Vince the ropes.

It's another few hours into our shift together before Jessica pulls me aside and says, "Deb, I don't know how to tell you this, but Evan and I are moving to San Francisco."

"What? Why?"

"He got a great job offer out there. He told me about the job offer, then he said he wanted me to move out there with him as his wife. It was so amazing, I don't think I could have said no even if I'd wanted to. And I definitely didn't want to."

"Well, when are you leaving?"

Jessica hesitates briefly and inhales. "In about a month."

I'm in shock. "Jessica, you've never not been here. You were here tending bar when I came in for the very first time four years ago! The Bar will fall down without you here, you can't go!"

She says, "I know!" and hugs me tightly, starting to cry a little (okay, and so am I).

We stand there rocking for a minute or so, until Vince comes up behind us and says, "So, you're gonna go with the civil union, then?"