The Barmaid Blog™: Life for a 20-something Manhattan Barmaid

It's a couple of Thursdays ago, and while most of the people in the Bar are watching the Yankees walk all over the Kansas City Royals, I've got one television tuned to college hockey. It's not even really for me, though I'm watching when I have the chance; it's for Will. It's the first time he's been back here since Samantha died, and we're all naturally worried about him. But for the moment, he's sitting at the bar talking to Mario, and Maya - Samantha's friend, and the reason she started coming here and met Will in the first place - is mostly just standing there and listening to him. Simone and I are taking up the slack willingly.

Notre Dame is playing Michigan in the national men's hockey semifinals, and they've jumped out to a 3-0 lead. Will has said in the past that he doesn't really care that much about Michigan's hockey team, even though he played on their football team, but it's the reason he's supposedly here, and he keeps shaking his head as things look bleaker and bleaker. During the second intermission, after Michigan has finally made a game of it by scoring two in a row, Will asks me a question I'd sort of been hoping wouldn't come up. But I suppose if it was to come up at all, it's best coming from him, because the main reason I wasn't going to talk about it was not to rub it in his face. "How's things with you and Jenny?"

"They're good, thanks. We've been spending a lot of nights together." Maya slips off to serve some customers so that I can stick around and talk for a while.

"Is it love?" he asks, the second reason I was going to avoid the subject.

"I have no idea, Will." And that's the honest truth. "But whatever it is, it feels very good."

"Okay, I'm - listen, I'm only going to say this once, but I'm sorry, there's just no way I can let it go without saying it at all, it's just who I am... can I, uh... please come over and watch it feeling good sometime?" Will finishes by smiling the most innocent smile. If it were anybody else but him, I might actually be a little angry, but with Will I have to laugh - and I have to be relieved that he's in a good mood.

"I'll make you a deal - as soon as New Hampshire wins the Frozen Four, you can videotape Jenny and me having sex."

Mario laughs, but Will just sticks his hand out for a shake. "You've got a deal, Debra. And you've made a brand-new New Hampshire fan." I wonder, for a moment, what I've gotten myself into... and then I wonder for a few more moments whether Jenny and I will still be together when next year's Frozen Four arrives, much less whenever my alma mater finally wins one. We've never really talked long-term.

Will sips from his Anchor Steam. "So how did you and Jenny meet, anyway?"

"Oh, it was a blind date. It's all her fault," I say, pointing to Simone, who's a few yards away trying to convince a customer that she doesn't really want to order a tall glass of Goldschläger on the rocks. "We road-tripped up to New Hampshire for a few days in mid-December. I met her family, we hung out at their brewpub in Portsmouth, then she came with me to see UNH play hockey against Maine... we got totally socked in by a snowstorm that weekend, and ended up raiding her Dad's wine cellar. She was bitching about the pressure she was feeling to get a boob job, I was bitching about the online dating thing, and suddenly she said, 'Hey, you and this lawyer I know would totally hit it off.' So she gave Jenny my e-mail and here we are."

"Wait," says Mario, "how did Simone know Jenny in the first place?"

"Oh, I think Simone used to be a Starbucks barista across from the courthouse in Brooklyn Heights, and Jenny used to come in a lot, or something."

"Nice," nods Will. "You really never know how you're going to..." He can't seem to finish the sentence, and looks away as he drinks more of his beer. Mario puts his arm around Will's shoulders. I really don't know what to do except reach for his hand on the bar, and give it a squeeze before I go back to serving drinks. When Michigan finally loses to Notre Dame in overtime, 5-4, Will has long since left for home.

First of all, many thanks to Barmaid Blog reader Stacie for sending me "5 People Who Died During Sex" from my Amazon.com wish list. It's a fun read, and much appreciated!

Barmaid Blog reader Michelle e-mailed me an article from the New Yorker's blog, "The Point of Tipping." Other than not having any idea why they picked that title for the article, I think it's well-taken. Amy, the Bowery Ballroom barmaid profiled in the post, isn't the first person to come away from a service industry experience with tipping stereotypes. In my experience at The Bar, gay men are usually the best tippers, and young, straight, immediately-post-college men are usually the worst. Women who are or have been barmaids or waitresses in the past (and they're usually not shy about telling me) also usually tip well. There's a pretty huge spectrum in the middle, but some patterns emerge, and shift over time.

But one principle holds true no matter who you are: "If you can't afford to tip, don't buy a drink," Amy says. Damn straight.

Michelle also mentioned, in the spirit of the article, a few artists she's been listening to lately - Priscilla Ahn, Sea Wolf, Beirut, Santogold, and A. A. Bondy. Of those I'm only familiar with Beirut, but I'll check out the others. My favorite recent discovery is Libbie Schrader, whom I saw a few months ago at the Bitter End... check out her incredible song "War on Science," but make sure you find the version from her self-titled album, not the one from "Letters to Boys." She's also pretty hot, but don't tell her I said so. Thanks for the recommendations, Michelle!

Barmaid Blog reader Dennis, who talked a little trash about UNH vs. Miami (OH) hockey last year, sent me another note in between New Hampshire's awful, inexplicable loss to Notre Dame (who even knew they had a hockey team?!) in the first round on Friday and Miami's first-round game against Air Force on Saturday:

I have been writing this email in my head for about a week now and since I have finally sat down to write it I am afraid that I am a bit too late. I was hoping that I could goad you into a bet should my Miami Redhawks play your UNH Wildcats.. but as I am sure you know by now that won't be happening. We are in the second year of a new building and have spent the entire year within the top five in the country, really only playing poorly in two home losses to the Great Satan of College Sports, Michigan.

I hope Michigan loses and hopefully that will pave the way for us... Also if you look at the bracket assuming we win in the first round I am hoping to play Minnesota in the second round cause I think it's unfair to play BC in Wooster, MA. Neutral site my ass.

We went over the "neutral site" thing last year, so I won't address it again... I haven't heard from Dennis since the games played out, but I have to imagine he had quite the heart attack when theoretical patsy Air Force took Miami to overtime before finally losing. I also imagine he wasn't too thrilled when Miami coughed up their 2-0 lead over Boston College, allowing three goals in less than two minutes... and eventually losing to BC 4-3 in overtime, the third year in a row that Miami's elimination from the NCAA tournament came at BC's hands.

You know you have my sympathies, Dennis, and not just because both of our teams are now playing golf - but because overall #1 seed Michigan is now in the Frozen Four and seeking their 937th national championship. *sigh* Maybe next year one of our alma maters (almas mater? almae matres?) will finally have their turn in the spotlight.

Lastly, Barmaid Blog reader Derek e-mailed to alert me to his own new site, "Tip the Hottie." It's a clever idea - barmaids post their photos, web surfers "tip" them based on how hot they think the barmaids are, and the winning barmaid each month gets $200. It's free for a barmaid to post a profile, and it's free to "tip," but the prizes are real money, so I gather that it's advertising-driven. There aren't all that many women on it yet, though - only one in all of New York state (and none in the city)! For the amount of effort it takes to post a photo, the possibility of $200 at the end of the month seems like a pretty good payoff, so I encourage my fellow barmaids to join up, and all my readers to show them some love with virtual tips.

It's a laundry day, people... time to add the fabric softener.